More Than I Trust Myself
by Xtin AlterEgo
Summary: Jack takes care of Daniel at his place, in a very loving and erotic way. SLASH, Mature Scene


More Than I Trust Myself

Daniel looked pretty worn out. It was after one of those missions that seem to be draining the life out of you bit by bit, even if you come back almost unharmed. They were all over the top exhausted and, as always, Daniel got more than his fair share.

After stepping through the wormhole and arriving on Earth, Jack was convinced for a second that his Archiologist will pass out right there. But, as always, Daniel seems to go yet another step beyond his limits.

Their physicals came out pretty well considering they spent almost a whole day in a war zone. Fraiser just went on about all of them having to get a long sleep and a good meal. The briefing went down uneventfully, all of them summing up the events of the past 20 hours in turn.

After Hammond ordered them all a couple of days of downtime I took my initiative and had Daniel securely stored in the passenger seat of my truck before he knew what was going on.

But he also didn't seem to fuss about it either, not asking me any unnecessary questions; it felt as though he let me take the lead for once, being to darn spent to care about what went on.

I pulled the truck over to park in front of my house. Opening the passenger door I lead Daniel in my living room supporting him slightly by his upper arm. There we made a quick stop to take of our coats, Daniel being on autopilot rather then being aware of what he does.

"You know Daniel, you look pretty exhausted" I said it softly, realizing any loud sound must be unwelcome to those tired ears.

"Well, I guess then, that I look way better then I actually feel."

That was funny. I just realized it was a joke a moment later and grind at him.

"So I have a thought," I continued bluntly "why don't you let me take over tonight, I want you to relax as best as you can, try to forget it all and I'll handle the rest" In replay I got one of the sweetest smiles he has to offer and he nods gently.

_Daniel POV_

After this seemingly unending ordeal on this planet, now so far away, it sounds like the best idea I could think of to just hand myself to Jack for tonight. He leads me to the bathroom and there, more gently then anyone could imagine this air force colonel could get, he takes of my shirt, my shoes, my socks, my pants and kneeling down in front of me, now my boxer shorts.

Kissing my body slowly and thoroughly as he is getting back up I already feel a great deal of tension leaving me. Then, standing right there in front of me, looking into my eyes and giving me one of those special O'Neill kisses only one man in the world could give I lose myself.

Wishing nothing more then for this kiss to be going on forever, I felt myself being pushed into the shower backwards but all the while more gently then I could have thought possible.

Only in the shower and with almost to warm water running down on them did they finally separate and Daniel seeing Jack getting soaked with water and still wearing all his cloths made the younger man grin. But Jack just shrugged it of and started rubbing Daniel in with all the soaps and lotions there were.

To be cleaned from top to bottom with the most talented hands the air force had to offer would make anyone lose his ground. So I slipped and fell into the colonels arms. He guided me out of the shower and dried me up.

First my chest and back, then one leg after the other yet again kneeling in front of me. I leaned halfway against the wall as he guided my cock ever so gently to his mouth and seemed to be taking his moment, licking and sucking me until I almost couldn't keep upright any more out of pleasure.

Leading me to the bed and lying me down on it I noticed four little metal rings attached to it, each of which in reachable distance to my wrists and ankles. Looking at Jack slightly questioningly for a moment he spoke ever so softly "a little surprise for you I've been working on lately." Then he kissed me on my eyebrow "let go Daniel, for this night, let it all slip. Try to forget about being in charge….trust me."

He took each of my wrists in turn and so very smoothly secured them in the metal rings, same with my ankles. I let him do, not a single bit of tension left in my body. After hearing the last click I realise my arms are stretched to the sides and my leg are slightly apart. It feels good lying like this, and I take Jack's advice and fully let go.

_Jack POV_

Now that Daniel is secured on my bed and completely at my mercy it hits me so hard that this man here trusts me beyond any doubt. He looks more relaxed then I have seen him for a long time. This just doesn't make sense. How can he be so sure I'm not just some loony, or have animal impulses, or heck, am just playing with him?

He seems to be extremely confident that I will not hurt him in any way, seemingly surrendering himself completely to me. The emotions that come with such a revelation are almost too great to bare; I have to fight back tears as I make a solemn swear to myself that I will never let anything happen to Daniel Jackson even if it means sacrificing everything I have to give.

Slowly I approach the bed having undressed on my way there I realize Daniel didn't open his eyes once. He lies there like a vulnerable child, completely satisfied that he is at the mercy of someone he obviously truly loved…As I now kneel on the bed, one leg on either side of Daniels fragile body he opens his eyes slightly and smiles at me.

I can see Daniel eyeing me curiously as I open the bed stand drawer and take out a piece of silk cloth. "Do you trust me Daniel?" I ask holding the silk in both hands ready to blindfold my dearest love. He nods smiling again that sweet smile. With a hoarse voice, obviously to relaxed to be bringing out the words loudly he manages to say "I trust you Jack…more then I trust myself"

After that I blindfold him and start kissing his body, beginning from his neck all the way down to his stomach. I lick and kiss him in the gentlest way I can. At his cock I make a brief pause to thoroughly examine it with my tongue until I suck it slowly and deliciously.

Working him there for what seems like a blissful eternity I hear him moan ever so slightly.

After slowly sitting up I look down at him again, on his smooth body. The inability to move freely doesn't seem to bother him in the least. If anything, I get the feeling this, in some twisted way, helps him relax.

I study his childlike feature for a few moments. From his peace radiating face that tells me there is not a care in the world for him in this moment to his partly scared body that tells of hundreds of life and death battles, illnesses and pain it struck me that I have never before seen him so blissful. The wish overcame me that this moment of joy for Daniel must go on forever. Never again shall there be pain and agony. Once again, I find myself swearing to myself, that there won't be any harm to Daniel as long as I can prevent it by all means necessary.

I plant my body over his, hip to hip, chest to chest and legs tangled to legs. The room is overly warm but the heat radiating from Daniels body overwrites that. We lie like that, my head on Daniels chest what feels like forever, my only thought being to melt into Daniel so we could stay like this for all eternity. I feel his breath become even under me, just when I thought he had fallen asleep I hear a whisper "I love you Jack" "I love you too Daniel" if you only knew how much.

_Daniel POV_

Last night was either a dream or a very real trip to nirvana. I can't make out which, until I conclude it doesn't matter. What ever it was, I want to hang on to it. Barely opening my eyes I see that it's morning and as I rub my eyes with my hands I realize my restraints are gone. Slightly upset about this I place my hands back to where the metal rigs were in the night before, even if it was a dream, I want to hold onto it. But before I could put my hands down again I feel someone lean his body on mine, pinning my wrists down with his hands. Looking up into Jacks face I see him grinning.

"Think I'd let you go that easily?"

"If it were up to me you'd never let me go."

I said being not really awake yet. Receiving one of those so very special O'Neill kisses I dream about at night, I figure, this must've been the right answer. Still grinning at me as he sits me up he says

"you slept over 9 hours you know, that could give one the feeling that last night..."

"last night Jack" I broke him off before he could get into his sarcasm "was the best thing that happened to me in a long, long time."

Jack looks at me a very long moment, his eyes telling me he has a very important question to ask.

"What is it Jack?" it seems like he first needs to find out himself what exactly it is he doesn't understand.

"You didn't fight me" he whispers after a while, obviously still deep in thoughts.

"Jack?"

"You didn't fight Daniel; I have never seen you that way. You always fight, no matter how tired you are, but yesterday, Daniel, you just, just surrendered yourself to me, like you...well, you know..."

"Like I trusted you without a doubt?"

"Yeah exactly Daniel, I…I don't know what I did to gain this trust, it, it totally overpowered me. You were so relaxed, so fragile, so… vulnerable.."

It took me a moment to understand, "You feel like you don't deserve my trust?"

"No…, no it's not that, it just startled me to see you giving yourself to me so quickly without hesitation, like there was nothing more natural to you than being in my hands without needing to be able to move away, without needing a bit of private space, almost…. almost like you were my property, being able to do with as I please…It scared me Daniel, how can you trust me like that? And what about what you said, that you trusted me more…"

"Then I trusted myself? It's just plain truth Jack, there's nothing I can say that would explain this to you or even me. I love you Jack, and lying here with you in bed every time gives me the feeling of belonging, something that I've been failing to have for my entire life. And lying there at your mercy after being so terribly tired was exactly what I needed. Feeling like your 'property' was the only thing I wanted to fell like, in fact I still do. This also probably doesn't scare you half as much as it scared me at the beginning, but after some time I realized this is the sort of feeling I have lacked for so long. This is what makes me whole Jack."

there was a pause and Jack looked into my eyes so intensely as though trying to find something there that couldn't be put in words, he obviously found it.

"Oh Daniel" he whispered and then wrapped his arms tightly around my body and started rocking me slightly. "What ever I did to deserve that faith Daniel, I swear I will never fail you"

I felt tears burning in my eyes and couldn't stop them from dripping down on Jacks shoulder. This was the right thing, all of this. It was what I was looking for and I just don't see how I deserve to have Jack in my life.

"Come here boy." Jack said while he was pinning Daniel to the bed again, putting his body weight on top of his so he couldn't move. "So you wanna be my property, huh?" Nibbling on Daniels neck while not relieving any of the pressure Daniel once again found himself on the point of relaxing under Jack and drift back to this nirvana-like place where he spent last night at.


End file.
